Written Words Have More Meaning
by Loki God of Trickery
Summary: The Avengers team write letters to themselves and others. Make your suggestions. Some will be funny and some will be more serious. Features Tony, Loki, Clint, Natasha, Thor, Fury, JARVIS, Pepper, Jane, Hulk, Darcy, Bruce and Steve. Suggest letters in a review! I use all of them (mainly because I can't be bothered to think of it myself, but whatever...)
1. Dear Fury

**Okay, this was an idea I thought of at 10pm, so don't expect it to be brilliant. You can give suggestions about the who writes and receives the letters if you want. Also, please tell me whether or not the characters seem like they normally do.**

Dear Fury,

Don't you think Birdbrains and Natasha are a bit out of place on this team? Now, don't get me wrong, we're not the best team. Hell, we're a terrible team, what with the supersoldier who can't handle how a coffee maker works and a god who thinks a washing machine is an evil force out to kill him. Anyway, back to the lovebirds. They seem a bit... I don't know, let's do a head count. Me. The genius scientist who has a flying, armed suit of armour. Banner. Turns into an almost indestructible green rage monster. Capsicle. Supersoldier who can't get drunk. Thor. A god who has enough power in his toe to kill the population twice over and a magical hammer. Barton. A man with a bow and arrow. Natasha. A woman with a tiny gun. I mean, seriously? What is this?

Yours sincerely,

Tony Stark

**Please review.**


	2. Dear Cap

**As always, feel free to leave your opinion/suggestions about who should go next.**

Dear Cap,

No offence, but I hate you. No, wait. Scratch that. I hated that my dad liked you. Damn, this sounds weird. Okay, my dad spend most of his time looking for you. He wasn't around most of the time. Any time he'd tell me off, it would always be "Captain America wouldn't do this" and "Captain America would be disappointed in you". You can imagine a childhood full of that. It wasn't the best. This letter is basically meant to tell you that no, I don't really like you. You're a goody-two-shoes and a by the books sort of guy, while I'm Tony Stark. The genius who does what he wants when he wants. But still, I can respect you. And that's the closest you'll get to a friendship with me.

Yours sincerely,

Tony Stark.

P.S. skintight suits don't work for anyone. You're not an exception


	3. Dear Loki

**Leave your suggestions if you want, and feel free to leave a review about how the characters act or how the story is generally. As always, enjoy!**

Dear Loki

If I ever see you again, I will personally shove an arrow through your eye socket. And I will enjoy it. You made me kill countless coworkers and friends, and I will never forget that. If you think you can come back to Earth to do anything - anything at all. Even if you grab a cheeseburger and leave - I will hunt you down. And behind me there's a line of the rest of the Avengers, all itching for your blood. We're going to get it, one way or another.

Can't wait to see you,

Clint Barton.


	4. Dear Man of Iron

**Hope you enjoy it. Please review.**

Dear Man of Iron

I have found a wondrous device! It was in your kitchen, and it made strange noises when I pressed a certain spot. I experiment as this discovery should be tested and thoroughly examined for optimal enjoyment. I tried placing a "sea dee" in the narrow chamber of the machine, but it broke and shards of evil leapt off the shiny flat disc and flew into my arm. Then, with the Captain's advice, I placed food in the clear chamber. I placed a banana, a slice of strawberry cake and a leg of chicken in the machine and pressed the side. It cut up the food, bit it spewed all over your kitchen. Fortunately, Dr Banner came and taught me how to use what he called the "blender". I placed a variety of fruits and other things into the blender, and when I removed the lid that Bruce made me put on, the fruit had vanished and a fruity drink had taken it's place. If all of your devices hold such magic as this, I will be truly fascinated by your home. To think, a Midgardian device that vanished fruit and replaces it with a frothy drink! I have never seen anything like it!

I look forward to examining the rest of your home,

Thor, Prince of Asgard.

P.S. What is this "oven" you speak of? I will find it and report back to you, do not fear!


	5. Dear Feathers

Dear Feathers,

Do you ever actually wear sleeves? I mean, come on!

Tony Stark, genius.

**As always, I appreciate reviews and welcome letter suggestions.**


	6. Dear Thor

**As always, please feel free to review me suggestions.**

Dear Thor

I get it. I understand. You're a super-powerful god who probably had countless maids growing up to look after you. But, please, despite all of this, you would be able to read, correct? So a manual would be understandable for you? I placed an instructions manual on the oven for a reason. I did not appreciate you burning half Tony's house because you were, and I quote, "preparing a feast". The dials on the top of the oven are meant to change how the oven operates and the temperature. They are not for fiddling with whilst waiting for your food to cook. Which reminds me, you do not put a whole chicken in an oven. Well, I mean, you can, but it needs to be dead first! The poor animal was burnt to death thanks to you! And you went even further, to let the chicken halfway through cooking it out to see if it was "crispy enough" when it was most likely mad from the sudden heat. Then it ran around the room and set fire to not only the expensive cushions on the lounge and expensive lounge, but also the expensive curtains, the expensive wardrobe and the expensive television cabinet. Also, normally, when a perfectly alive chicken is taken out of an oven, you do not put it back in because you "thought chicken made less noise and moved a lot less". Really, I am trying hard not to hit something. Just... read the instruction next time, okay? If I ever let you have a next time.

Yours sincerely,  
Pepper Potts.


	7. Dear Stark

**NOTE: Read the first chapter first, this is like a sequel to that.**

**Inspiration for this chapter goes to Avenger Gurl. Send in your suggestions and I'll use them. Promise! :)**

**(When I wrote this, I imagined Natasha speaking in a really, "I'm very angry at you, but I'm smiling while you receive threats" kind of voice. Like, smiling, eyes angry, sarcastic…) Enjoy.**

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Stark,

You might want to think twice about sending a letter to S.H.I.E.L.D expressing how much Clint and I fit into the Avengers. All letters and objects sent to S.H.I.E.L.D are checked for explosives, poisons and things that shouldn't be there. Unfortunately for you, the agent that tested your letter informed me of its contents, and, well… I'm not happy. In fact, I'm pissed. You think Clint and the outcasts of the team? I dare you, try and jump off an extremely tall building, turning, mid-air, shooting an arrow at the ledge you jumped off, and survive. Go on. I'd love to see the failed attempts. Also, have you ever tried manipulating a god? Tricking him into telling you his plan? I thought so. So, next time, think twice. If I hear anything else about Clint and myself, I swear I am going to rip out your tongue and feed it to you. Then I'll post the video on YouTube.

Love,

Natasha

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**A review is just a click away.**


	8. Dear Young Loki

**'Cause Kid!Loki and Kid!Thor are adorable. (It's hard to write like a little kid)**

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Dear Loki,

Father made me write this letter to ap... apole... say sorry. I didn't really mean for your book to get destouy... torn up. I just wanted you to come outside and play with me. I had no idea a book falls apart if it hits a wall. You never come out of your room. But, I'll buy you a new book if you want! Or I could write one! That would be weird. Just come out. Please? Mother and Father both don't like it when you don't come out of you room. I promise I'll never make you sad again. I promise I'll look after you. I'll be the bestest big brother ever, and you'll be the cleverest god ever and you'll fight next to me when I'm King!

Your big brother,  
Thor

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**A review is just a click away.**


	9. Dear Loki, God of Shiny Things

**Just wondering, do you guys want just letters or do you want mini backstories to go with each one, for example, the letter with Kid!Loki, normal Loki might have found that letter somewhere, like… I don't know, maybe under a chest of drawers? Anyway, what do you think?**

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Dear Loki, god of shiny things,

Just so you know, I'm sort of sorry about Bruce beating you to a pulp in my tower. I mean, it cost heaps to fix that! Half of me wanted to keep a Loki-sized dent in my tower, but Pepper made me clean it up. Also, you should be sorry about that whole thing where you threw me out a window. If you'd just taken my drink I offered, it might not have happened. It wasn't any normal drink, either. I spent loads on that, and I didn't really want to drink it on my own. Thanks, mate. That was sarcasm. Do you even have sarcasm in magic-land? Must have, I mean, look at you. If you weren't evil, you might have made a good friend. But then you had to go and try to enslave all of Earth. Nice one. Again with the sarcasm. So, anyway, nice writing to you, hope you're having a horrible time, and I wish you all the worst.

Yours insincerely,  
Tony Stark, the guy with the big red and gold flying suit.

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**A review is just a click away.**

**C'mon guys, I need inspiration! I uploaded these nine chapters within two days, and now I can't think of anything!**


	10. Dear Fire Hair Lady

Dear Fire-Hair lady,  
I just wanted to play tag.  
Hulk.

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**A review is just a click away. (Fire Hair Lady... Natasha has red hair... no?)**


	11. Dear Jane Foster

**Just to let you know, last chapter, the "god of shiny things" came from the glowstick of destiny and the gold in Loki's armour. Oh look! I've changed my username. Like it?**

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Dear Jane Foster,

I really admire you. If anyone can turn an arrogant god into an Avenger, they deserve some credit. Is it true he smashed a cup into the group because he wanted another drink? And that he walked into a pet shop asking for a horse to ride? Anyway, if you've got a moment, I've got an arrogant genius superhero that you can do some Jane-magic on.

Yours sincerely, Pepper Potts.

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**A review's just a click away.**


	12. Thor

Thor,

Let's make this understood right from the start. I am not writing this letter because I care about you, nor because I wish to be redeemed. I am writing to tell you that I have a horrible Midgardian disease. My head pounds constantly, I am coughing and sneezing all day and my nose is running. If any of your "friends" poisoned me, I swear I will hunt them down and wedge a sharp twig between their toenails and their toe. Then I'll make them kick a wall. Now, isn't that painful to think about? If it turns out nobody has poisoned me, I will still hunt them down, but I will only set them on fire for an hour or so.

Loki, your not-brother.

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**A review's just a click away. (note: that actually is painful to think about. I mean, think about you wedging a toothpick under your toenail and kicking a wall. I'm shuddering while writing this!)**

**Aww, Loki has a cold... Any reviewer gets to hug a sick Loki!**


	13. Dear Hulk

Dear Hulk,

I know you're always angry and stuff, but this time, _I'm_ more mad than you. I understand about Loki, and how he's evil and all that, but did you have to choose my place to smash him? I mean, why not go down the road and smash him somewhere less… somewhere that's not mine? Although, it was nice to have a Loki-dent in the floor for a bit, but it did become a problem when Cap tripped over it, knocking into Pepper, who fell on my shoes, which I fell out of and hit my head on the ground. To make matters worse, you didn't clean up! You just walked off. I mean, no offence Bruce, but you can probably lift a whole lot more as Hulk than Bruce. So… next time you want to smash an evil god, either do it away from me or invite me. Got it?

Tony Stark.

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**A review is just a click away. (note: when I typed that last sentence, this was what I was thinking "So, next time you want to smash a hot Hiddles into the ground, I'll bring my fangirl army and destroy you". Hmm… I have problems. :P)**


	14. Thor Of AssGuard

Thor of Ass-guard,

Why'd you choose a hammer? I mean, sure, it can knock things over, but a sword can stab things, a gun can shoot things, your brothers magic spear can take over people's minds, a stick can poke people in the eye and according to Cap, a shield can be used as defense and to throw at people, possibly decapitating them. So… hammer. And why's it named after the noise a cat makes? "Meow, meow", seriously? But I, uh, _love_ the cape. Really brings a sort of old-fashioned comic book hero vibe.

Yours sarcastically, Tony Stark, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, superhero, Avenger, owner of a tower, god of sarcasm, the-guy-with-the-overly-long-title-thing and all round inventor.

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**A review is just a click away.**


	15. Hey Loki

**This one contains spoilers for Harry Potter, but if you didn't know what happens in the end, you must be blind to the news and internet and stuff. I don't really like this one. It's not funny.**

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Hey Loki,

You know, you're not the only kid with magic. There's a boy called Harry Potter, and when he was eleven, he found out he was a wizard and he could do magic. He went to a magical school and he made some friends. He learnt magic and got a bit more "I-like-yelling-at-things" when his family and friends died around him. But he got over that and eventually faced off against this evil guy with no nose and won. He was a hero, blah, blah, blah. Moral of the story: don't trust the snake-faced guy. Actually, I don't think that was the moral… I never actually read the books, just skimming over online articles about the series. Anyway, I hope you're having a good time rotting away somewhere.

Tony Stark, the guy you threw out a window who's still holding a grudge about that.

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**A review's just a click away.**


	16. Dear JARVIS

**BOLD** **is Thor.**

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Dear JARVIS,

We're not really sure where to send this letter. We don't even know who you are. All we know is you're a mysterious voice from the roof.  
I would ask Stark, but knowing him, he would either laugh or give me a strange look and give me a lecture. Honestly, I've just assisted in the saving of the world, I don't want to be bored to death. Uhh, no offence, Tony. So, what are you?  
**I second that. I also send you my apologies for destroying the ceiling when I first discovered you... and ripping up the carpet... and smashing the floor...**

Steve Rogers and **Thor Odinson**.

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**A review is just a click away.**


	17. Dear Tony

Dear Tony,

I get it. I know what we are. We're scientists, inventors. Scientists and inventors experiment, I get it. However, I highly doubt your experiments need excessively loud music to accompany them, and I'm sure Pepper would hate to find out you smashed through another wall because of "scientific reasons".

Bruce Banner.

P.S. Besides all that, I think the Other Guy likes ACDC.

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**A review is just a click away.**


	18. Dear Thor brotherly advice

Dear Thor,

Maybe Loki needs a hug. I tried offering him a drink. It didn't work.

Tony.

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**A review is just a click away.**


	19. Dear Darcy

Dear Darcy,

Thor told me about your first encounter with him, and I can't help but feel that you would be a successful ally. I am rather interested in this "Taser" you appear to be quite familiar with. If I could find a way to magnify the effects, it would be a deadly weapon, and I would be honoured to make your acquaintance. When you want to find me and take me up on my offer, find Thor, come to Asgard, and wait. I will find you.

Loki, a future ally.

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**A review is just a click away.**


	20. Dear Mr Stark

Dear Mr Stark,

I've always thought you were brilliant. Absolutely stunning. I mean, you're rich, you're smart, you have incredibly good looks, and you know exactly what I've been through. I've been through the same thing, and I know how you feel. I know everything about you. I know your height, weight, appearance, address, I know how to make Iron Man suits and I know how to turn everything into a joke. If you ever need anything, come to me. I'll be in a mirror.

Love, Tony Stark.

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**Because, of course, Tony will write to himself, praising himself.  
A review is just a click away.**


	21. Thor, I have something to tell you

**Yarr**

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****Thor, I have something to tell you.

Today is a very important day. So important, in fact, that I'm not sure if this can fit onto a letter. Today is Talk Like A Pirate Day. Oh wait, you're from magic land; you don't know what a pirate Is. Remind me to buy you Pirates of the Caribbean. Not the movie, the pirates. I can do that, I'm Tony Stark.

Basically, today, you need to go around and roll your "rrrr"'s and say "savvy" a lot. Savvy? You also need an eye patch. And a costume. Or a sword. Either way, by the end of the day, you will have a complete knowledge of Talk Like A Pirate Day. It happens every year on September nineteen, which is today. Mark it in your calend- wait, do you have calendars? Never mind. Just go buy an eye patch!

Tony Stark

P.S. Gullible loser... oh wait, I'm not meant to write that bit...

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**Happy Talk Like A Pirate Day! Arr.**

**A review is just a click away.**


	22. Dear Iron Man

Dear Iron Man,  
This is Captain America. I have decided to embrace my more mischievous side, but not like Loki. If you would be so kind as to send me the dirtiest secrets S.H.I.E.L.D. has, I would be grateful. I would also like everyone's personal files, so I can... learn more about them... and be able to know what topics to avoid and how to interact with them better. Additionally, I would also be thankful if you send me the location of all of their secret bases and locations. I wouldn't use these facts against anyone, because I am clearly not going to use them for evil purposes, like Loki would.  
Captain America, the not evil guy.  
P.S. I'm definitely not Loki.

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**Just stop trying, Loki. You couldn't impersonate Steve...**

**Its Iron Man and Captain America, because when did Loki have a chance to learn their real names?**

**A review is just a click away.**


	23. Dear Thor It's about toilets

I'm getting inspiration at dumb times. PM me with ideas please. I'm running low on ideas that are funny.

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Dear Thor,  
You're a god, right? So you'd know about god-y things. Do you guys need to go the toilet ever? I mean, we had Loki in his cell for ages, and he never asked to go. Mind you, we never would have let him, but still! If it turns out you don't need to pee ever, does that mean the final bits of digestion doesn't happen? I think it's digestion, anyway. So... any thoughts?  
Tony Stark, curious guy.

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**A review is just a click away.**


	24. Dear Metal Man

**This is a sequel to CHAPTER 13! Read that first.**

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Metal-Man  
Stop complaining about Loki-dent or I make a Tony-dent.  
Hulk

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**I want to try something. Every single person who reads this chapter, review. I just want to see something.**

**A review is just a click away.**


	25. Brother

**Okay, the reviewy thing last chapter was to see how many people actually read these authors notes. So... hello!**

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Brother,  
[Please note that the rest of this letter, which was from Thor to Loki, was destroyed by Loki. He didn't read it, but he saw the first word and got a bit... annoyed. He tore the letter and threw out the remains. This first word and following sentences are the last surviving piece of the letter]  
I hope you take these points into consideration.  
Your brother, Thor.

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**a review is just a click away.**


	26. Director Fury

**This one goes out to my Polish fans (I never thought I'd have any at all, or be this popular…). I think there were five people from Poland, so… hi guys!**

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Director Fury,

I have discovered what you mortals call a "tee vee" and I am horrified. You are a barbaric race, trapping people inside small boxes, making them talk for hours about the most boring of topics! And some of the things you make them do are horrible and look painful. I was gazing upon a show that called itself "Funniest Home Videos", where people were forced to do embarrassing and painful things so people could laugh at them. I do not understand how you could do this. Do you not have souls? Can you not feel sorry for these people and let them out of their glass prison? And what happens when you turn it off? Do the people just die? Or do they keep talking, unaware that you are not being polite and listening? Either way, I no longer wish to be a part of your Avengers, if you resort to such cruelty. So, next time the world is in danger, call someone else to save it.

Thor, Prince of Asgard.

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**Oh, Thor...**

**A review is just a click away.**


	27. Tony, we need to talk

**We're so close to 50 reviews, guys. Come on, we can do it!**

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Tony, we need to talk.

You see, recently, we had a… situation with Steve. I found him on the roof of the tower, crying. It took a while, but I got him to tell me what happened. Well, it… he found your room, completely by accident, by the way. There would be no way Captain America would venture into your room on purpose. Still, I think the experience scarred him for life. I don't know if he'll ever be able to face you again, I mean, he saw your room at about four, and I found him at about nine in the afternoon. I asked him, and apparently, he was stuck in your room for two hours, because he somehow locked the door behind him and he couldn't get out until six o'clock. I've taken Steve to therapists, but I don't know if he'll ever recover. If he doesn't, I blame you.

Pepper.

P.S. Why did you even have the Duck Song playing on repeat in your room? You scared Steve.

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**It's true, the Duck Song will probably kill you if you listen to it for two hours nonstop. :P  
A review is just a click away.**


	28. Barton

**I'm feeling generous. :)**

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Barton,

Just kiss her already. You know you want to.

Tony Stark.

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**A review is just a click away.**


	29. Loki

**I'm sort of running out of ideas. You guys got letter suggestions?**

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****Loki,

What was your deal? What was your plan after you won the Earth? I can understand what you started out doing, what with wanting to rule the Earth and get everyone to kneel to you and stuff, but really, what's the point of ruling a planet where everyone's dead? If the Avengers didn't stop you, there would be no humans to rule. Your alien army would've killed everyone. Surely you must have known this, if not... well, then you're an idiot. What kind of person tries to take over the world without taking into account the consequences?  
What was your real goal, if you had a goal at all? Did you just come down to have a play? What happened?  
Come talk to me if you want to explain it, but you might want to take some precautions so I don't have to fish out your remains from Barton's sea of arrows, although, come to think of it, I'm sure Barton will have fun, and I hate to deprive people of their fun.

Tony Stark.


	30. Dear Thor An honest letter Really :P

**The idea for this came from KiaraLaufeyson.**

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Dear Thor,

I'm afraid I have a problem. These restraints you put on me - the muzzle and handcuffs - are making me sick. My throat is aching and I have no way of coughing to get rid of the unwelcome feeling, so, if you would be kind enough to remove my restraints, I would be grateful. The only way to get rid of my sickness is to let me live unchained. I _promise_ I won't try anything, I won't even kill anyone. Maybe, just for you, I'll go back down to Midgard and visit the Avengers to... _bond_ with them. I would never dream of hurting them in any way. [Here, scratched out, the words "I don't _dream_ of hurting them, I _will_ hurt them" can be found]  
So, in conclusion, let me go.

__Loki.

P.S. Of course I'm telling the truth. [Slight signs of spit where Loki coughed can be seen here on the letter] Why would I lie? It's not like I'm the god of trickery and mischief or anything... oh, wait...

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**A review is just a click away. :)**


	31. Hi Loki

Hi Loki,

Remember that time you turned into a horse and got impregnated by another horse?  
Then gave birth to an eight-legged horse?  
Or the fact that you have a wolf and a snake as kids?  
And that you are literally the father of hell?  
Just thought I'd remind you.

Tony Stark.

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**I got my mythology from here: (remove spaces.)**

** w w w . / - . p h p**

I don't know if that even shows up...

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**I'm going to wrap this up soon, maybe 42 chapters?**

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**A review is just a click away.**


	32. Stark (Loki's response)

**This is a sequel to the previous chapter. It's OOC and the result of a sleepless night and stupid random inspiration.**

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Stark,

Yeah, well... you smell.

Loki.

P.S. Loki'd

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**A review is just a click away. 10 chapters away from completion. :(**


	33. Dear Clint

**Almost 100 reviews!? Awesome! Honestly, I never expected to get more than about twenty, but, then again, I had never expected to ****_write_**** more than fifteen chapters…**

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Dear Clint,

You up for scaring the hell out of Bruce on his birthday in a few weeks? It's the 22nd, and I was thinking was a post-Halloween, creepy, Hulk-inducing scare. Text me if you're in.

Tony.

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**Because you're nice, here's some texts that follow this conversation.**

Underlined is Tony, _Italic is Clint_

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_No thanks; I'm not suicidal yet. Drop the "Hulk-inducing" bit and I'll be fine with it._

Fine. What if we just made him freak out? Like, lock him in one floor of my tower and leave him alone with creepy music playing through the roof?

_You probably shouldn't mess with Banner, man._

He can handle it, stop being a chicken. I thought SHIELD agents were fearless.

_We are fearless!_

Prove it, Feathers. Join the party

...

Come on, please?

...

I'll buy you a new bow for Christmas.

_You can't buy my bows, I had to make this one by hand._

Seriously, though, what's it going to take for you to be onboard?

…

I'll do anything.

_I'm in._

Awesome.

_I have three conditions. Number one, I want Season 4 of Merlin on DVD._

Done.

_Number two, I want a hover board. One that flies silently._

That… might take a while, but I'll do it. The third thing?

_Get me on a date with Natasha._

…

_Those are my conditions, Stark._

_…_

_Fine, if you don't want my help…_

No. I'll make it happen.

_Brilliant._

If I die doing this, I blame you.

…

…

…

I wonder what your kids would look like.

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**I'm not sure what I thought of that last part. Anyway, Mark Ruffalo's birthday is the 22****nd**** of November. I'm inviting you to write a fic and upload it on that day. If you post a link in the review section, I'll read it and review it. Should be fun, huh? I'll probably be writing one, maybe.**

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**A review is just a click away.**


	34. Dear Mr Hulk

**This chapter exists because of the brilliant **SeventhRing **giving me an idea. So, thanks, and I am still taking suggestions, but this story is going to end soon (42 chapters in total), so not all of them will be used. Sorry. xxx**

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Dear Mr. Hulk,

I would like to respectfully request that you refrain from destroying Stark Tower. It creates nothing but headaches and I am sure that Mr. Stark does not appreciate it. Thank you for your cooperation.

JARVIS

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**A review is just a click away.**


	35. Dear Stark, Iron Man, or whatever you

Dear Stark, Iron Man, or whatever you want to be called,

I am NOT a full-tilt diva, and if I hear you refer to me as such again, I will see to it that you no longer have a tongue to voice your thoughts.

Yours sincerely,

Loki

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**Also, in case anyone is wondering, I only exist on this site on the weekends because of school and whatever. And there's seven more chapters after this, I think. Send in a few last suggestions if you want to.**

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**A review is just a click away.**


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